The Coil

No, not a contraceptive. Rather, a contraption. The Tesla Coil, to be precise.

For those that don't know, the Tesla Coil is a way of making more power out of a current. Nikola Tesla was a genius. For me, one of the greatest to have ever lived. Certainly better than that Edison chancer, who actually had Tesla working for him, promised him a bonus of 30,000 dollars if Tesla came up with a certain number of patents (this was back when 30,000 would have set you up for hundreds of years), which Tesla did, only to then say "I was only joking, chump".

So Tesla left, but took his genius with him. Edison and Tesla engaged in a kind of inventing war for a while, and Tesla often won. An example of which was AC. Alternating Current. Edison invented and championed Direct Current, but DC meant sending electrons out and then bringing them back. It was a very bad way of sending electric to people. In New York at the time, the multitude of wires needed to carry electricity sometimes blacked out the sky. It must have been something.

DC meant having to erect power stations every couple of miles, just to keep the electron flow going. So Tesla invented AC. Alternating current. It meant the power cables were much thinner, and could just keep on going with no need for a boost every few miles. Needless to say, Edison was incredulous, and slagged AC off at every opportunity.

But Tesla wanted to go further than AC. Further than fewer, thinner wires. He wanted no wires at all. In fact, he wanted free power. To all. And, with the Tesla Coil, he deemed it possible. If you plug a Tesla Coil in to an American socket, you're giving it 120 Volts. But the coil spews electricity from the top of the coil at 500,000 volts. How? Well, if you imagine the electricity flowing like water, the voltage is likened to water pressure. If you attach a nozzle to the end of a hose, the water pressure is increased, while the flow of water is decreased. Try putting your thumb over the end of a hose and you'll see. So the coil steps up the voltage and reduces the current. Its a transformer.

If you hold a light bulb in a room with a Tesla Coil in it, the light bulb will illuminate. No wires. No sockets. Just electrical energy in the air. Tesla wanted to build giant Tesla Coils and provide the earth with electrical energy, using the earth itself as a conductor.

This would mean impoverished countries that still live off the land would all of a sudden have access to power. And not just any power, clean power. The global warming merchants needn't worry about coal fuel stations, we'd only be powering a few energy stations. Tesla built a huge coil, Wardenclyffe, and managed to illuminate light bulbs over a mile away. Sadly, and is so oft the case, the money man pulled out of investing in Tesla's invention, when someone beat him broadcasting radio waves over the Atlantic. Later, the accolade was reversed and granted to Tesla, after it materialised that the chap who beat him to it used at least 5 or 6 of Tesla's patents.

Regardless, I see Tesla's ideas for free world power as...obviously a threat to establishment....but more than that, even back then he was thinking big. Really big. If we are one world and we all look out for each other, I  don't think the regular 5 pound a month pledge to Oxfam can really cut it. Oh it helps, sure, but we, as a species, need to think bigger. Tesla style bigger.

He also invented the induction motor, which is the standard electric motor used everywhere these days. A larger type is used in a car, also called a Tesla, which is an electric car that can do over 200 miles on a single charge. Now, Steve, you might say. What was that? Why, if we can build electric cars that can do 0 - 60 in under 4 seconds and travel over 200 miles on a single charge, are the governments of the world not making this standard issue? Why are we still bothering with the internal combustion engine?

Short answer: fuck knows. The technology is there. It exists. It can be used and utilised. But everyone seems to be looking the other way, to the point where shares in the Tesla motor company dropped last year and continue to decline.

If the men in power cared about the environment like your green taxes claim they do, then we would all be driving these cars. By law. But that would punch a huge hole in their revenue, and we can't have that. The Saudis have so much invested in the American economy that if the Saudis were ruined because we didn't need their oil any more, the American economy would collapse.

Free power, clean transport. Isn't this what we should be pursuing?

Nikola Tesla invented many other things; remote control, energy saving light bulbs (seriously), X-rays (again, seriously but he was never recognised for it), proposed the idea of bouncing radio waves off objects to determine position and speed 17 years before the invention of radar, and the laser.

He also built something called The Earthquake Machine. Going on the principle that every object, once struck, has a resonant frequency, he concluded that if you match that frequency and increase it, any material can be shaken to pieces. Dangerous, but true nevertheless. You could bring down a building with a very small device.

Tesla then. Had his fair share of good ideas and dangerous ones. Died alone in a hotel room in New York, undiscovered for two days. The FBI seized his files, and the world largely forgot about him. These days, we need his genius more than ever before. Sadly, the Tesla Coil is not taken seriously. Think of all the money the power suppliers would lose. The electric car is not being taken seriously. Think of all the money the oil companies would lose. Of course, if the world built giant Tesla Coils, the electric cars would pick up the power as they drove. They wouldn't need a charge. You could just keep on driving as long as your tyres went round and the motor was okay. Wouldn't that be something?

Pie Anna & The Snob

Music is one of the few global processes we know of in the brain. Hooray for music then. Now, music has done much to me and for me. My ears are damaged, though only time will tell to what degree and how it'll all end up and whether I consider it a fair trade-off. Music has also shaped me though, and made me much of the person I am today as well as allowing me the opportunity to travel to many places I most certainly would not have done and play to people that would otherwise have ignored me.

Apparently, when you reach a certain age you begin to lose somewhere in the region of 50,000 neurons a day. It means that starting something, learning something new, is more difficult than if you tried it when you were a kid and your brain was a sponge soaking it all up. I was daft enough to start learning the piano a year ago. 35, and taking on something as monstrous as the piano. A year later, I am pleased with my progress, though I never imagined for one minute it would be as difficult as it is, with or without losing my brain cells.

I think that everyone should be made to take piano lessons. Here's why; it teaches you to take things one step at a time, it teaches you co-ordination, and it teaches you expression. Three bloody good reasons. Not least the first one. In piano, learning a piece, you do it bar-by-bar. You learn a bar, you move on. Then you piece them together. It gets programmed into your fingers, your motor cortex, and you know it. And its a good lesson to take with you. Do things one step at a time and its easier. Go rushing in and you'll fuck up.

Now, the piano is something I've kept relatively secret. I play for me, to me, its me me me. I get a huge amount of pleasure from it, especially when it just works or you pull off something fiendishly difficult that has been plaguing you for months. Why then, would I not want to shout about this, record me playing pieces and stick them on Youtube? Because I play classically. I play Bach, Chopin, Debussy and Schumann. 

Sadly for these splendid fellows, many people view classical music as the domain of the upper class, of the snobs and the stuck-ups. The upper classes have done nothing to dispel the myth that classical music is for the rich or the especially intelligent. The morons. Beauty is for anyone fortunate enough to turn their senses to it. Many are afraid of introspection for fear of what lies within, and I think certain pieces of classical music are so affecting, looking in is the only thing you can do. If you don't like what you see there, see a therapist, but don't blame the music.

Why you would not want to listen to music of such beauty and power with all the sonic garbage that clogs up the charts is quite beyond me. Sure, you can't put up with it all the time, you need a beat, you need some noise, some anger and some fun. But when you want to be moved, and I mean really, really moved, where every fucking emotion you can imagine is moulded over a couple of staves and spread out over 6 or 8 minutes, I don't see how you can go anywhere but to a piano. 

Chopin's Raindrop Prelude. So called because the one note (A flat) that plays throughout it is supposed to symbolise the pitter and the patter of raindrops. Plus the middle section could almost be a storm, a storm that later recedes and is replaced again by a light rain.
Aww. Nice. But come on. Such an adolescent interpretation. For me, the Raindrop Prelude demands to tell you that it soundtracks your life. It begins very delicately, then the initial theme is expanded upon, then it gets darker. And as we grow, we learn the important things; that people don't always get what they deserve, that we are often exploited, that we lose things and people we love, and we get very, very pissed off about it. This, to me, is the middle part of the Raindrop. The anger you contain throughout a lot of your days. Then, at the end with the refrain, so it goes with us. We return to a state similar to the one when we got here. We realise the little things don't matter a fuck, we realise life is a thing of beauty, even with the tragedies, and as the song closes, we too find peace. The one note that plays throughout, to me is a heartbeat. Not rain. Rain is a daft idea.

Would I be afraid of saying the above to some bow-tie wearing knob shank of a classical music critic? Damn right. But why would my interpretation of that piece be wrong? It is what it is. He doesn't agree so what. I'll take it to the grave, to my last chord, because its what the piece says to me. Therefore, it can never be wrong. 

Imposing limitations on your musical tastes is a daft idea. I remember when I was at school you could only like Def Leppard. Anyone else and you were out cast. Whilst it now seems okay for anyone to like anything, still classical music is the elephant in the room. I wish more would embrace it. I know it seems dense, I know it seems overwhelming, but by jingo its worth it. 

The people who wrote this stuff weren't snobs either. Many of them lived awful lives, lives of poverty, lives of heart-break, lives of ill health. Chopin died at the age of 39 of Cystic Fibrosis, heart-broken that his great love was not there as she promised she would be. Beethoven died at 56 from unknown causes, he was a raging alcoholic, had chronic diarrhoea, and was profoundly deaf in his later years, the worst thing you could wish upon a composer of music. He was also twice nearly beaten to death by his alcoholic father when he was a child. Bach had 10 children die in infancy, as well as experiencing the death of his mother and father before he was 10, and the death of the love of his life. Who else can be more qualified at expressing tragedy. Yet this music is for everyone, they created this stuff that was so beautiful, and the upper classes got hold of it and made it feel exclusive to them. Fuck that, take it back off them. Its out there to enjoy, to plough through, to soundtrack your life. If needs be, start with one of those arbitrary 'Best Piano Album In The Universe (though we have no proof of that) Volume 3 (How can they do Volumes of something that they proclaim to be the best in the universe?). Whatever you start with, just try it. Dip your toe in the water, see how it feels, or else you too will be a snob, only an inverted one.