Amen

So as Christmas comes in, it does make me smile at the number of atheists that will be rushing around buying presents to celebrate a festival they clearly have no business celebrating: The birth of someone who does not exist, and never has.

I'm an agnostic these days. I think it somewhat ignorant to be an atheist. I used to be fearful of God. My Mother was (is) a practising catholic, and i would accompany her to church as a boy. Whether you believe in it or not, you have to admit the God squad did a great job when it comes to churches. They are aesthetically pleasing to the eye, and there's always an atmosphere when you walk into one. The musty stench, the echoes, the stained glass and crosses. Tim Smith said (and i happen to agree with him) that hymns are pretty stirring. All those voices singing together as one. The power of it all.

It was only really as i reached my mid-twenties that i began to entertain the idea that there was no God. No omni present force tut tutting every time you had a sly hand shandy into a Xmas sock. No omnicient presence that has a master plan and steers you in the right direction at a cross roads. It may have been nothing but a fairy story. Like Santa Claus, only less likely. Actually he's a lot like Santa, he has a long white beard, knows who's naughty or nice, is taught to and believed in by children, and he rewards virtue and punishes evil.

For me it was a scary time. Imagine if all this, what we do down here on this mudball, has NO relevance whatsoever. You know all those people that are cunts? Yeah you do, you know a lot of them, you probably seem them every day. I do. They behave atrociously and only ever seem to prosper. Now i know the Buddhists have this thing called 'Karma'. Let's not stick to picking on God shall we, let's have a go at the fat chap too.
Karma, in a simple, fundamental kind of way, states that what goes around comes around.
If you behave like a shit, you'll get shit happen to you. Change it round, behave like a saint, and you'll get good stuff heading your way. You've seen My Name Is Earl, i need not go on.
Anyway, the Buddhists are smart enough to have this great get out clause. That is, you behave so badly down here (think Adolf), that there's no possible way for Karma to sort you out in one lifetime. So what happens is Karma picks on you in your next life too.
A trifle unfair wouldn't you say?
You might be having an awful time now, like a double arm amputee with an itchy anus, and while you might have done your best to behave brilliantly, it matters not. Your previous self was an arse, so you'd better run that butt of yours along the carpet like the dog you are.
Were.
Whatever.
It's perfect. It can't be proved or dis-proved. It's faith. Blind faith. And blind faith is a dangerous thing.
It's the answer to everything that should be questioned.

So let's say the unstoppable force is blind faith. No matter what questions you come out with, readers and believers in the Bible will tell you simply that you have to have faith. Yes the Bible contradicts itself, but you have to have faith. God treats you like dog poo that's worked it's way into the tread of his sandal but it's okay, because he has a master plan for you and everything will be fine if you just have faith.

The immovable object is common sense. Supposedly what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object is that the unstoppable force stops and the immovable object moves. It doesnt apply here. Neither give way. Neither yield to the other.

Take the story of Larry and Lucky Parker. They were true believers. Their son was diagnosed as diabetic, and they decided they weren't going to trust in modern medicine (that ogre, science, that we'll get to soon), and instead trust God to cure their boy. It didn't work, the child died and the couple were convicted of manslaughter. They wouldn't entertain the idea of insulin, they believed God would sort him out. If you're a parent, you'll know just how ridiculous an idea this is to consider, and even if you're not you must see how fucking ridiculous it is.

The world turns, it grinds on and science and technology drag it forward. I might have a headache one day, as i often do. I take my Rizatriptan to rid myself of this affliction. Praying to God to relieve me of the pain would result in one thing; more headache. I'm aware this doesnt close the case on Him. Im sure he'd have better things to do than get rid of my headache, but imagine if this child of the Parker's was cured? If it defied all medical explanation. If it was, in fact, a miracle? That's something for the Pope to wave under the atheist's nose isn't it? Personally i'd have sprung on that. It'd have been great PR.

As a species, i hope we humans have moved on from the Stone Age. To me, religion drags us back there. It erects perimitters and barriers and prevents us from moving forward.
For instance, stem cell research. It's playing God apparently. I'm sure they said that when the Wright brothers launched themselves into the air. 'If God wanted us to fly He'd have given us wings' yadda yadda yawn yawn. The positives of stem cell research far outweigh the paranoia of the Catholic Church.
Let's see now, treatment and possible cure of lukemia, cancer, Parkinson's and spinal cord injuries. Last time i checked, the church had little to no success in the treatment of these ailments.

The word Science comes to us from the latin Scientia, which means Knowledge or Knowing. What i like about it is that it challenges itself. It comes up with a theory, then sets out to disprove it, to make it fail, rather than just declaring it to be the truth. That's admirable and courageous. Hats off i say. It's the polar opposite of blind faith, our troublesome little friend from a couple hundred words ago.

You have opinions. Most people are pretty welded to theirs. Something pretty major has to happen for a person to change their opinion of something. Imagine if we all analyzed our opinions to see if they stand up to scrutiny, or just some bullplop we enjoy spouting. It throws you off balance to discover something you believed in or held true is as transparent as a clean window on a summer's day. Science is a bold beast. It constantly questions itself.
Try it. Its distressing.

So my Mother was religious. My Dad was an atheist. He went along with my Mother's wishes to christen both myself and my brother, and would never openly mock her decision to attend church on a Sunday. Nor did he ever say anything about it to me when i went.
Close to the end of his life, my Dad would say he believed in 'his God'. He never really disclosed who or what that was. He obviously believed there was a higher power, but that the higher power didn't need his ass kissing in a church every Sunday. I think my Dad was closer to being a Pantheist. For those that don't know, a Pantheist is basically someone who believes that God and the universe are one and the same. That God is everywhere, in the trees and the wind and a part of it all. Kind of like The Force in Star Wars. He surrounds us and binds the galaxy together.

It's a nice thought, and one i'm more comfortable with than the image of an old man with a long white beard perched on a cloud telling you you're an awful person but he forgives you.

When my Dad was on his death bed, he didn't have the ability to speak. He had a tracheotomy which meant he couldn't employ his vocal chords to communicate. So i never really got to know what Muse put as 'The last thoughts of a dying atheist'. Knowingly facing death must be a terrifying thing. This is where faith comes into it's own. If you really truly believe in God, then death holds no fear for you.

The only thing that makes humans believe in God is fear. Fear that there is an afterlife and we all get fucked or praised for our actions down here on earth. I believe that in as little as 100 or 200 years time, humans will look back on us and snigger at the things we believed in. At the things that held us back and halted progress. Much in the same way we smile at the Egyptians or the Incas for their beliefs. Slaughtering people so the sun would rise, the very idea huh?

I completely understand the comfort the belief in God brings. Shortly after my Dad's death i had the misfortune to purchase Dawkin's book, The God Delusion. It basically blows holes in every aspect of the existence of God (the parts i read were a bit one sided), and to be totally honest with you, i really didn't want to read that stuff so soon after my Dad had passed on. I was still struggling with the notion of God, but it felt comforting to think he'd gone on to a better place. All the common sense in me, all the logic and reason saying it's pretty much impossible that God exists was pushed out so i could feel better about his passing. Which brings to mind Robert Heinlein's quote 'Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help'.

This is why if anyone does say they believe in God, i'm not one to start yammering in their face about the absurdity of it all. People who do are no better than Jehova's witnesses knocking on your door telling you how the world works. I completely understand the fear of the unknown, and so do you, every time you walk into a new place, start a new job, or go on a first date.

To stick with my Dad, he said religion is responsible for more war, carnage and death than anything else. I think you could say that and get nods of approval, but isn't it more the interpretation of religion, and the application of it to everyday life that gets people arguing?

If someone asks my opinion on something i'll give it to them. If i'm not busy or just can't be bothered. The trouble with religion and it's causing of wars is just a difference of opinion. One group interpret a book one way, another a different way and before you know it they're shelling the shite out of each other.

I believe people should be free to believe in anything they like, as long as they don't hurt someone else doing it. I was introduced to Humanism through reading Kurt Vonnegut's books, and it's a pretty damn good way to live your life. As i mentioned before, my Mother is a catholic, yet her behaviour could be classed as Humanist. She doesn't want to burn Dawkins at the stake, as catholics from a couple hundred years ago would have done, and is content to let him carry on.

Who knows? She might have the last laugh. At least if there is a heaven, when it comes my time i'll have someone up there on my side, nudging God to let me in despite.......numerous things i'd rather not go into. Because i tend to have a psychologist's head on, i believe a person's religious beliefs act as a placebo on their very existence. Whatever shit life throws at them, their belief in a reward for weathering the excrement shower means they're not as affected by it as an atheist who may just despair at the world for having no meaning.

Existence without meaning can be liberating, but it can also render itself pretty pointless. To think that we're not just blobs of proteins and water, oozing around a speck in the universe. That there is fate, destiny and the grand plan. This is what religion should bring to those that need it, like a junkie needs H, to get through the day.
Me? I just want a nice Christmas prezzie.