End Time

The curtains are closing on 2009. I can't say i'm disappointed to see the back of it. This year has been every kind of adjective.

I see no point in going over certain things that have occured. Not least because reviewing it will bring back some bad memories its better for my mental well being to forget and i can do no more about them now as i could last week or even several months ago.

I always think making mistakes is fine, as long as you learn from them. Life is just a collection of experiences, and your 'take' on them changes over time. It's like being in a familiar room and then breaking the step ladders out and climbing to the top of them. The room takes on a new perspective and sometimes it can look better or worse. The step ladders represent time, and its up to you what you make of the new view.

You know those nights when it all goes wrong, when it all blows up and you feel like your life has taken a turn from which it will never recover? Well you're just having a new experience, and experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones. Someone a whole lot smarter than myself said that getting over a painful experience is a lot like crossing monkey bars, you have to let go at some point in order to move forward.

So rather than focus on the bad things that occured in January and February of 2009, i'd rather look to the positives. You know, i think too many people big themselves up about the wrong things at the wrong times. There's a painfully thin line between confidence and arrogance. A lot of blokes fail to spot it, but a lot of girls don't seem to mind. Sometimes it sounds like people are just trying to convince themselves that they're splendid.

I'm not dumb enough to think that my life isn't very easy. A lot of it is a lazy stroll in a picturesque park on a summers day. Despite that, I moan like Victor Meldrew on amphetamines, but its only about the minor stuff. The major stuff usually shocks me to silence.

My biggest upheaval this year was being made redundant in February. My moans about that would be thus; i worked for them for 10 years. I worked bloody hard and tried to learn as much as i could and better myself there. They kept people on there that had been there less time then me, and were not as trained in as many jobs as i was.

But, while it was one big, fat, nimbus cloud, the glorious, shiny uv beams were making their presence known behind it. If you were to work for a company for ten years, and they uncerimoniously show you the door because they're a bit strapped for cash, it doesn't take Noam Chomsky to work out you're better off not working for cunts like that in the first place.

That is confidence. To say you're better than the place would be arrogance. I'm not better than it, but there's better things out there than it, and i owe it to myself to go and find them.

With that in mind then, i enroled at the City of Bath College. Despite the regular piss taking of my so-called-friends, i'm still there. My eyes fixed firmly on the prize. The prize being making up for something i'd regretted most of my life which is not getting a better education than the one i ran out of school with aged 16, my head full of dreams of rock superstardom.

I'm hoping that University awaits next year, and i can further surprise myself by going and doing the best that i can there.

But friends, don't think for one minute i've given up on the dreams of rock superstardom! Not on your chuffin nelly. Frenzy have been pretty damn busy this year, even doing fly-in-fly-out gigs to America. That isn't very common i assure you. I even joined the Virgin Flyers Club. That is, for the airline Virgin, not a flyers club for people who haven't had sex. That's how many airmiles we were chalking up. Next year we're doing a 24 date European tour, and i'm finding it hard to think of any aspirations i had with playing the guitar that haven't already been fulfilled. That's a pretty good feeling.

Despite Far-Cue taking a VERY well earned break at the start of this year, we came back with a blast later on and soon got back into the swing of giggery. I think we were all a little lost without it, and its frightening how something like that can become such a huge part of your identity. Without it though, you can appreciate how much you miss it, so it's a whole lot more fun now than it ever used to be.

My faith in science has been shaken this year. I'm pro-science. To the point that it would probably scare you. I look around and see that most things we do throughout our days are only made possible through the quest for knowledge, which is science. I tire of hearing the old line 'Scientists aren't always right'. Of course they're not, that's kind of the point. It takes a long time for a theory to be proved, and even when it does it can take an even longer time for someone very smart to blow it to pieces. For example, i saw footage of a perpetual motion machine the other day which is a complete piss off for the laws of thermodynamics........if it really is a perpetual motion machine that is, and i know some of you are probably scoffing but you really should see it for yourself before making a judgement.

The reason my faith is shaken is because of the bullshit and hyperbole surrounding this alledged man made global warming. The people who are supposed to question everything (thats the scientists by the way) are having their palms greased by the politicans to prove something that doesnt exist. This puts humanity in a dangerous place, as scientists and the media are supposed to be politically unbiased and not subject to bribery. Sadly, they are only human, and everyone has their price.

The man made global warming theory is an interesting one, and i can understand why people would buy it. Thing is, in the 70's, the same scientists that are global warming alarmists were trying to warn us of another problem facing humanity; an ice age. That came and went, then it was the hole in the ozone layer. Now it's man made CO2. New ways to terrorise the public and keep them sedated.

I shan't go on about it, i'd like to say it's an interesting subject for debate but sadly it seems that the subject isn't up for debate. Which should immediately start you asking the WHY questions, and putting it up for debate because clearly something strange is going on if something cannot be questioned. Neitzche said that there are no facts, only interpretations. So ponder on that.

One of the most cringeworthy things you can listen to is a parent going on about how outrageously wonderful their child is. If you're not a parent yourself, it's even worse. I am sympathetic to this fact, and though i love talking about my son Jake, i try and keep it succint and not over sugar anything. I also only talk about him to the people i guess wouldn't mind too much. Let's just say he's still doing great, he's making me very proud, and i consider myself very lucky to have him.

I was bowled over this year at the campaign to get Rage Against The Machine to number 1 for Xmas. Frankly it could have been any song except The X Factor for me, but because it was Rage and it was that song made it doubly joyous. Don't for one minute think this is some kind of turning point. 'Reality' TV is still with us, making heroes out of idiots and convincing us that we'll all be adored one day. I can't think of anything more banal and troublesome than being famous. I can't imagine what goes through people's heads when they say they aspire to be so. They're probably just looking for the acceptance they never got from their parents or peers, but i don't think they'll find it in front of a barrage of cameras. Some, like that dispicably vile creature, Jordan, seem to revel in that stuff......i'm thankful that i don't understand why. It would mean myself and her have something in common and i couldn't have that.

So in a few days it'll be good riddance to two thousand and NOT FINE (nine), and it's bloody good to see you two thousand and START AGAIN (ten). Clever isn't i.

Every now and then i believe you experience a year that will be forever etched into your brain. For me, 1994 was one such year, and the year 2000. It's been a while, but i believe 2009 will earn it's place amongst my Remembered Years Hall Of Fame. It's been so many things, and though i like to think i've learned a lot already from the events of this year, i know that it's only with a buffer of three of four years can you really look back and see what was going on and maybe even why. I don't want to talk about destiny or fate, concepts that i tend to dismiss as it renders you out of control of your own life and i've had enough of that for one year, but certainly this has been a year of change. Change that i initially thought was for the worse, but i can see it coming round to my side, and that feels pretty good. I am a creature of habit, some of which would probably disgust you, but like Rain Man, i freak out when my routines and habits are broken. It is however, liberating to be free of such things, and to be like Kerouac and embrace what's happening now rather than finding comfort in the norm. Long may it continue. I hope you all ring in the new year in a spectacular fashion, and that like me, you can't wait to get the fucking thing started. 2009 has took the piss for long enough.