Anti-Human

So I've left Facebook for a bit. No biggie, I'll be back. No-one's been crying about it, least of all me.

I have been questioned though, as to why I left a social networking site. Firstly, it was a tool of procrastination. Deadly when you're trying to get stuff done. Self-discipline is a good thing. I took my own toy away from myself, so I would stop playing with it.

Secondly, I grew tired of the anti-human stance that was being paraded around by some of my 'friends'. Those same friends won't be there when I go back on Facebook, I shall be culling the hell out of them. Sadly, their anti-human agenda is all too prevalent today.

The problem with the world today it seems, is people. The world is over crowded. We're using up all our resources. The whole damn party is getting out of control. So, logically the solution would be to put a stop to people giving birth. That's the first job. Secondly, to 'prune' humanity down here on earth right now.

Who to get rid of? How about the people moaning about how many people there are, and about how evil the human race is. The people that see humans as a cancer on the planet, purging it of its beautiful waters, destroying its eco systems. They clearly don't like this place, so they should go. Then who? What about that third world lot? They're clearly not contributing so give them the chop. Should free up some space.

I jest of course. Its an insane idea but seriously....what else is the solution then? There isn't one and...there shouldn't be a solution anyway because there isn't a problem. You're a human being, you have a right to be here, and you have a right to reproduce. Its how we perpetuate the species after all.

Environmentalists will tell you you're no good. You're no good for not caring. Fossil fuels you see. Evil things. Oil? Wouldn't go near it. Its the devil's semen.

Let's be stupid for a minute...

Plastics are made using oil. Examples of which include: Mobile phones, laptops, plugs, computer keyboards, pens, cooking utensils, many, many things.

Rubber is made using oil. Examples of which include: tyres. Roughly 10 per cent of a tyre is made from oil (synthetic, not crude). Your trainers too. Oh, and those little fings on the end of pencils.

Petrol and diesel are made from oil. Bless 'em.

So with all that in mind, how can anyone be angry at oil? How does the average environmentalist presume their food got to the shops? (diesel, made from oil, powers lorries and trucks that run on rubber, which is made from oil, and have cockpits made from plastic, which is also made from oil) How can an environmentalist use power at home? Not only would it require a plug (plastic), but also the power they use reliably comes from the burning of fossil fuels.

Oil is all around us. There is no way you can avoid it. Its a good thing.

I grew tired on Facebook, of people going on about the environment. WE are a part of the environment. As sure as fish, monkeys and elephants are, and I grew tired of feeling like I had to apologise for that.

The problem I had was, there was no arguing with them. There was no discussion. The climate change brigade have faith. Faith in science, until the science goes against their faith, then the science is wrong. You can't compete with faith. AGW is the new religion, and its followers are just as brain dead as a scientologists'.

Coupled with the blinkers, is a tremendous amount of aggression. Argue with one, you'll see what I mean. You can put 'There's probably no God' on a bus these days. A bunch of atheists did just that. It riled up a few grannies, that was it. But if you say 'Global warming is a myth' you'd better run, because they'll shout you down, bully you, call you a flat-earther, and get everyone to point and laugh at you.

I had the animals thing too. The notion that animals aren't aggressive like humans is crazy. Just crazy. Instinctual aggression is arguably more vicious than human aggression. We are aware of consequence, animals are not. My plan? Ban Walt Disney. His anthropomorphising has turned everyone soft. There is violence in the animal kingdom, and its the cute and fluffy ones you have to watch the most. One girl I was friends with on Facebook...she'd make you puke blood if you read her posts. Anti-human, pro-animal, complete bullshit. She won't be there when I return. She's first for the chop. At one point, she posted something inflammatory and pleaded with people to argue with her about it. Some tried, and she went mental at them for not caring.

This, this just won't do. The bleeding heart, 'look at me I give a shit' bollocks designed to make the bleeder feel good about themselves is what pisses me off the most. Their life is so empty, they struggle to fill it with purpose. I'd urge them to go and be a parent. It would be the biggest shift in their world they'd ever experience. But why would they want to know how special it feels to be a parent? Humans are bad, and this world is over-crowded anyway.

Andy Gray, Richard Keys - Loose Men

This is a hot topic right now, but it alarmed me today when my Psychology lecturer sided with the idiots and said it was right that Gray was fired and Richard Keys resigned.

If you don't know the story - presumably because you've been living under a rock on Mars - I am not about to relate it here. I could simplify it, although the PC among you may accuse me of missing the point through simplification.

Instead, lets look at 'sexism' in Britain today. I direct you firstly, to the most horrific, horrible, sickening bunch of bitches ever to grace our screens...the Loose Women.

Click on this clip, and watch just the first 32 seconds of it.

You'll see Jackie Brambles pull a sad face as if men are pathetic for making an issue of this, and you'll hear and see Coleen Nolan ask what the problem is with men being branded 'stupid and lazy'. They don't have a problem with that. Its okay to brand a gender stupid and lazy on national television. Now, get someone to go on TV and brand all women similar adjectives. You won't last five minutes.

Okay now STOP. If you're a woman...you may be smiling, you may be thinking this blog pointless or pathetic or just another 'man' not being a 'man' about things. You probably refuse to accept that there is a point here. Get on with it, right?

This is a huge part of the problem. The 'ladies' (yeah, right) on Loose Women can say what they please about men. The reason for this, is that there is a tremendous amount of pressure on men to cut down on sexism. They must be seen to be treating both genders equally. Women however, have no such pressure. Their behaviour - however sexist - is permissible. 'Man-bashing' comments are accepted and even encouraged.

This is not equality. Equality would be reserving the same scandalous face for Andy Gray as you did for Coleen Nolan. And that just did not - and will not - happen.

The hypocrisy is very real, and it shows no sign of stopping. The TV advert discussed by the sexist bastards on Loose Women was not banned, despite its derogatory portrayal of men. It was meant as a 'joke' Jackie Brambles tells us. Interesting how when its a joke about men its funny, and when its a joke about women, its sexist. Thankfully Lynda Bellingham tries to talk sense into the proceedings but is met with a rather weak excuse from former Mrs Chris Evans, Carol McGiffin, namely that women have been patronised for years in TV adverts.

So in the interest of equality and moving on...men should now get the piss ripped out of them? Progress.

As the discussion moves on, they almost come to their senses until Nolan steps up again with another sexist remark about men, and not women, doing DIY, "Why keep a dog and bark yourself?" is her opinion on it. Brilliant. Just imagine if that were a man talking about a woman doing cleaning on national TV. He'd be torn limb from sexist limb.

Following on from this, McGiffin makes reference to the size of her boyfriend's penis, saying "He's aVERY grown up man" and holding her hands some distance apart.

How is this any different from the exchange Richard Keys found himself in? If a male presenter talked about the size of his girlfriend's tits, what do you think would happen?

And the thing is, Keys was off air. The cunts on Loose Women are very much ON air, they know what they're saying and...here's the thing that really winds me up:

THEY GET AWAY WITH IT.

Feminism isn't about being more powerful than men, its about having the same rights as them. You need to tell more women this, they seem to have forgotten. I'm all for them having the same rights as us. I don't believe in glass ceilings, I think a woman should be on the same pay as a man if she's doing the same job as him. This is obvious stuff that sadly isn't happening. More does need to be done in those areas but you can see the gaps closing. Slowly but surely, women are catching up and its a splendid thing.

If you're a man out there reading this ask yourself: Would you press charges if a woman hit you?

I'm guessing the majority of you would say no. Why? A blow to your ego? Possibly. Its just not the done thing is it? But, in the name of all that's equal, it damn well should be. I don't agree with hitting women so by definition, I don't agree with hitting anybody. We're equal, and violence sucks.

Now check this out, there's no real need to watch all of it:

This was to be a meeting to discuss the possibility of giving male victims of domestic violence the same social services that are currently only available to women. See what happened? 'Feminists' - I use quotations because they're not feminist, they're sexist - charge in and start coming out with several different flavours of bullshit. What's wrong with giving men the same care if they've been abused? Equal, remember? I think, given the pressure on men to be tough, it was damn brave of those gentlemen to even attend and what happens when they do? A bunch of ignorant bastards storm in, too blinkered to realise that yes, you can commit a violent act against a man and yes, its still wrong.

I believe this hypocrisy should be addressed. Andy Gray has unwittingly stirred this up, and I hope people are paying attention and I hope they're smart enough to realise it stinks. Some women will dismiss it as 'whining' but you should ask yourself why they're doing that. Are they scared? Of what....equality? But that's what they're after isn't it?

A Useful Guide

Some may take this as preachy. Others may wonder what the hell I know. I care not, this is my space and I'll post what I choose.

I have spent the last 15 years playing in bands. I'd played in bands for a while before that but we rarely gigged and were very crap. Once I formed Far-Cue with Badger, we started gigging heavily. Once I joined Frenzy, I gigged even more. Both bands provided many lessons, many experiences that I wish to put forth now, so for anyone thinking of starting a band read on and learn from my errors. I see a lot of local bands doing their first or second gig and I feel that if they were armed with this guide from the start, the world would be a better place for them...and me.

1) You are not more important than the person standing next to you.

And I don't just mean your band mates, I mean the audience too. So you can play an instrument, so you can sing. How do you know what they can do? The ability to do something does not elevate you above those that can't do it. This rule should apply to everyone from Bono to Bad News Bob. You are not special. You are there to entertain, not so that people can kiss your ass.

2) Your gear does not define your talent.

So often I go and watch local bands who spend hundreds - sometimes thousands - of pounds (usually paid for by the parents) on gear and they're shit. "All the gear no idea" as someone once said. Learn to play well, both in private and in public first, then worry about spending money on gear. Let me tell you this: when you start gigging often enough you won't want to spend money on gear. Your instrument becomes worn and damaged, covered in beer and sweat, and it can break your heart.

3) Once you have set your gear up. LEAVE IT ALONE.

Guitarists are the worst for this, followed very closely by drummers. They set their gear up, dial in a sound and volume, then proceed to wank themselves silly playing their latest riff or fill, thinking that the whole venue is interested in just how well they can play. Once you've established that your gear works, why carry on playing? What are you achieving? If you have a problem, by all means sort it out but if you want to warm up your fingers you can do it unplugged. Drummers too, set your kit how you like it then leave it. Its not going anywhere.

4) Be a set-list Jedi.

If you're going to be brave enough to play your own songs in a new venue, consider throwing in a crowd-pleaser every now and then. Its a drain on your audience's patience to constantly throw your own material at them. Reward them for this patience with something they know. They'll thank you for it. Also, if you're unsure of how a song may go down, park it next to one you know will be well received. It's like giving it support.

5) Watch the other guy.

I've seen many new bands commit this crime. You're not the only one on stage. Just because a song has gone a certain way in rehearsal, it doesn't mean it will go that way live. Watch everyone else before a song starts and definitely as it ends. They may do something, they may not do something. There could a problem - a dropped stick, a broken string, someone tuning up. Someone could be wiping the sweat from their face and as such will be unable to come in. You'll never know if you don't use your eyes.

6) Don't expect your friends to support you every time.

Your first few gigs will no doubt contain a great many of your friends and family. They won't be there every time. They won't experience the same giddy thrill as you do when you perform. They're proud of you, they just have lives of their own. Besides, it's good to escape from that safety zone, it gives you confidence.

7) Respect the landlord.*

Or whoever owns the place or is putting the gig on. You are one of many bands they get to play and if you don't want the gig or think you're above it, they'll find someone else. Refer to point 1. You are not special.

8) Don't do it for the money.

Do it because you love it. When you stop loving it, quit. There will be very little money playing the toilet circuit, so you need to find another source of motivation.

9) Plug up.

I don't do this, and I don't know anyone else who does either but, take it from someone with perpetually ringing ears: wear ear plugs. Medical science has not yet found a cure for tinnitus.

10) Just because you've packed down, it doesn't mean everyone else has.

Drummers go through hell with their stuff. If you're the lead singer and only had to pack a mic away, don't be a cunt. Help people with their gear. You'd appreciate it, so will they. Refer to point 1.

11) Only ten per cent of your time in a band is spent on stage.

The other ninety is spent doing boring things like writing, rehearsing, web site-ing, networking, negotiating, fixing vans, stealing microphones. Its one of the reasons you should really enjoy the time you get to play because the rest of it is hell. If you don't do the boring stuff however, you won't get the good stuff.

* Some landlords are impossible to respect because they're idiots. Do not play their venues.

Furthermore, though you should be appreciative of the gig, don't be ripped off either. If YOU accept a low fee for playing, then the landlord will use this as a ball park or example for other bands and you'll drag everyone down to your idea of pay. Go too high however, and you won't get to play. Use your common, and your self-respect. People rarely see what goes on behind the scenes and as such they don't know how hard you've worked for that hour and a half on stage. Make sure your audience rewards you with appreciation and the landlord rewards you with beer and money.

Simple isn't it. Now go. Do.